I could see the lines in his face, the gray in his hair, the kindness in his eyes. The sincerity as he bore witness of the living Christ. He came for a special Stake Conference, and last night he held a meeting with all the YSAs in the region. Cathy and I were able to go because Allison's bishop told his ward to "invite their roommates and friends." Well, we certainly qualify! I told Allison that it may have been the best meeting I've been to in my life. Not because Elder Bednar said anything earth-shattering, but because everyone was prepared. We were told it started at 6:30, but that was actually so we could sit in reverence and prepare for Elder Bednar's arrival at 7pm. The feeling of peace and edification in the room was palpable. Bishop Davies of the Presiding Bishopric, Elder Lawrence of the Seventy, and Elder Villarreal, our Area Seventy, also accompanied him.
One of the first things Elder Bednar said was that they weren't going to give talks. They were going to answer questions. That way they would speak to what we needed, rather than what they thought we needed. Then he gave us parameters for the kinds of questions we should ask. He said that we shouldn't ask something we've been wondering for 20 years that is unlikely to be answered, or something overly personal. We should ask what the Spirit directed us to ask, something we want to ask an Apostle of the Lord and three other General Authorities in possibly the only setting we will ever be in where we will have the opportunity. I didn't write down every question, but these are the ones that meant the most to me. All answers are approximations and paraphrases, of course.
1. The first question was something along the lines of, What do you wish you had known at our age that would help you get through life?
That the Atonement both cleanses us from sin and makes us able to do hard things. He talked about when his wife had extreme morning sickness (Hyperemesis Gravidarum) while pregnant with their first child. It was incredibly rough on her, and she had it again with her second pregnancy--only this time, she had a toddler to take care of in addition. Elder Bednar said "I watched my wife receive strength that was not her own."
In order to understand this strengthening power of the Atonement, get an unused paperback copy of the Book of Mormon. Read it from cover to cover, looking for phrases about finding strength in the Lord. Example: When Nephi was tied up on the ship during a storm, he prayed not to be rescued, but as an agent with the agency to act. The Lord strengthened him to break his bonds, he didn't deliver him easily. Those situations Nephi worked through are what made him the spiritual giant he was. When you are finished reading the Book of Mormon, write one page, only the front, about what you have learned.
2. How does a mission help prepare you for education, marriage and family, and the rest of your life?
Bishop Davies: "My mission helped crystalize my faith." He talked about how he flunked out of his first semester of college. After his mission, his mission president recommended him for acceptance to BYU because of his performance as a missionary. There's no other way he would've been accepted. The mission was the foundation for everything else he's done in life.
Elder Bednar: On his mission he learned that when the Lord said "I will not leave you comfortless," he wasn't kidding. He really knows us. When Elder Bednar began his PhD at Purdue, he was one of five doctoral candidates. Out of the five, he was the only one that was married. His major professor told him that he'd never had a married student, much less one with two kids who was LDS and devoted to his church. Elder Bednar wondered if he would be able to do it, and asked the Lord for help. Heaven will help with what you cannot do. Shortly after, he was called as a Seminary Teacher. Soon after that, he was called in addition as the Young Men's President. He never studied on Sundays. The other students in his program had no other obligations in life to focus on other than school, and there was only one student who completed the program--David Bednar. There is no logical explanation for how he found the time to do that. You learn to do more in less time because you are magnified and enlarged.
3. How do you know where you stand with the Lord as far as being converted?
Elder Lawrence: We need to be willing to serve at all costs in order to be converted,
Elder Bednar: The Savior said, "When thou art converted strengthen thy brethren." In Acts Chapter 1, the Apostles received the Holy Ghost and became witnesses, they were more fully converted even than they were in the presence of the Savior. It wasn't seeing an angel that converted Paul or Alma the Younger, it was the witness of the Holy Ghost. Have we unwrapped the gift of the Holy Ghost? It shouldn't make a rare appearance in our lives. It should be with us all the time, or at least most of the time. We should always have his spirit to be with us.
D&C 97: 7-8:
3. Particularly to new converts, how can we better understand how to show nonmembers how important our testimony is?
Elder Lawrence: Fully observe the Sabbath Day. By your fruits, they will know.
Elder Bednar: The changes in your life will be subtle and quiet, but your family will recognize them. They may not want to admit it, but they will see it. Just live the gospel. Those around you are watching and learning. Over time, the Holy Ghost in you will soften their hearts.
4. Something about how to grow our faith
Elder Bednar: Faith is a principle of action and power. Faith is action, and the power will follow. Have you ever been preparing to go Home Teaching and not wanted to do it? But after you do, that feeling goes away. The power is never there when we're sitting and waiting. The measure of faith isn't how you feel, but what you're doing. The Red Sea didn't part until the Children of Israel had their feet wet. They didn't wait at the shore, they went in the water.
5. How can we prepare to reach out to those who aren't participating?
Bishop Davies: Ask them about times when they've felt the Spirit. Express love for them, talk with them, read and pray with them.
Elder Bednar: Ask a simple question: What's your deal with the Church? Find out where they are.
6. How can we make our faith strong enough to endure to the end?
Villarreal: Elder Nelson said that "enduring to the end is to remain faithful to the covenants that we've made." Enduring means to become tempered.
Elder Lawrence: Exercise your faith. We can grow our faith by identifying righteous desires and acting on them, like exercising muscles.
Elder Bednar: 2 Nephi 31:19-20:
7. A question about miracles
Elder Bednar: the fact that you are here on a Friday night in a white shirt and tie is a miracle. I'm serious. 80,000 missionaries give up two years of their lives and pay their own way to do it. Those are the real miracles. Supposedly smaller miracles are much more persuasive than the big ones, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. And they happen all the time.
8. What kind of person should we look for to marry?
Elder Bednar: A man should be looking for a woman who reverences her womanhood. A woman should look for a man who honors his Priesthood. Honoring the Priesthood means no domination, no ruling over. It means equal partners. The differences between men and women are divinely designed, together they blossom into a whole that can't be realized any other way. You don't find a happy marriage, you create one. Be forthright and truthful before marriage, especially about pornography.
9. What do you do in your spare time?
Elder Bednar talked about how he has 14 unread emails for only one committee he's on, since the beginning of the meeting. There is no free time. He has 3 folders with 3 things he's working on. He never gets a 2 hour block to work on them. He learns to work in 10 minute blocks. Ask yourself, "What is the best use of my time right now?"
He does enjoy skiing and golf, and most importantly, spending time with grandchildren. The greatest delight is when your grandchildren treat your children in the way they treated you, and your children come to you for help. And you say, "I have prayed so much for this."
10. An investigator asked what sets this church apart from others, and how should he find out if it's true. Elder Bednar told him to read the Book of Mormon from beginning to end and ask on each page, "Could Joseph Smith or any man or woman have written this?" When you're finished, pray with the intent to act. Joseph Smith, when he asked which church to join, prayed with the intent to act. We should too. He also gave a powerful witness that this is the same church that Jesus Christ established, with prophets and apostles, in ancient times.
Last, he asked us what you noticed about the pattern of this meeting. What I really appreciated was that Elder Bednar made sure he understood each question, and after he answered it, he made sure that it was answered to the asker's satisfaction. He was genuinely interested in our questions and experiences. He also invoked the scriptures over and over. The words of Apostles shouldn't be separate from the scriptures because they are one gospel. I love how he quoted scriptures in order to give us insight into our own lives.
In closing, Elder Bednar said, "We can only teach what you're prepared to receive. Thank you for being prepared." Last, he bore his special witness, by the authority of the Holy Apostleship, that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. The tomb is empty.
I said above that he didn't say anything earth-shattering and that may be true, but he talked about gospel doctrines, such as the Atonement, in such a way that I came to a new, more intimate understanding of them. Or at least, I began to. After such a meeting, the next step is to decide how to do things differently because of what you've learned. I always struggle with that part. That's why I decided to write this up now, while everything is fresh in my mind. I hope I'll refer back to this, and frequently remind myself to pray with the intent to act, to lean on the Atonement to make me strong in hard things.
The best part of it is that we still have Sunday morning to look forward to!
7 The ax is laid at the root of the trees; and every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit shall be hewn down and cast into the fire. I, the Lord, have spoken it.This answers the question about being converted. The Holy Ghost is a teacher of truth. Truth is how things have been in the past, how they are now, and how they will always be. If you ask in prayer to know where you are, to see yourself as you are, you will see it. It is both a painful and reassuring experience.
8 Verily I say unto you, all among them who know their hearts are honest, and are broken, and their spirits contrite, and are willing to observe their covenants by sacrifice—yea, every sacrifice which I, the Lord, shall command—they are accepted of me.
3. Particularly to new converts, how can we better understand how to show nonmembers how important our testimony is?
Elder Lawrence: Fully observe the Sabbath Day. By your fruits, they will know.
Elder Bednar: The changes in your life will be subtle and quiet, but your family will recognize them. They may not want to admit it, but they will see it. Just live the gospel. Those around you are watching and learning. Over time, the Holy Ghost in you will soften their hearts.
4. Something about how to grow our faith
Elder Bednar: Faith is a principle of action and power. Faith is action, and the power will follow. Have you ever been preparing to go Home Teaching and not wanted to do it? But after you do, that feeling goes away. The power is never there when we're sitting and waiting. The measure of faith isn't how you feel, but what you're doing. The Red Sea didn't part until the Children of Israel had their feet wet. They didn't wait at the shore, they went in the water.
5. How can we prepare to reach out to those who aren't participating?
Bishop Davies: Ask them about times when they've felt the Spirit. Express love for them, talk with them, read and pray with them.
Elder Bednar: Ask a simple question: What's your deal with the Church? Find out where they are.
6. How can we make our faith strong enough to endure to the end?
Villarreal: Elder Nelson said that "enduring to the end is to remain faithful to the covenants that we've made." Enduring means to become tempered.
Elder Lawrence: Exercise your faith. We can grow our faith by identifying righteous desires and acting on them, like exercising muscles.
Elder Bednar: 2 Nephi 31:19-20:
19 And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.Someone consistently feasting upon the words of Christ and praying meaningfully will never fall away.
20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.
7. A question about miracles
Elder Bednar: the fact that you are here on a Friday night in a white shirt and tie is a miracle. I'm serious. 80,000 missionaries give up two years of their lives and pay their own way to do it. Those are the real miracles. Supposedly smaller miracles are much more persuasive than the big ones, if we have eyes to see and ears to hear. And they happen all the time.
8. What kind of person should we look for to marry?
Elder Bednar: A man should be looking for a woman who reverences her womanhood. A woman should look for a man who honors his Priesthood. Honoring the Priesthood means no domination, no ruling over. It means equal partners. The differences between men and women are divinely designed, together they blossom into a whole that can't be realized any other way. You don't find a happy marriage, you create one. Be forthright and truthful before marriage, especially about pornography.
9. What do you do in your spare time?
Elder Bednar talked about how he has 14 unread emails for only one committee he's on, since the beginning of the meeting. There is no free time. He has 3 folders with 3 things he's working on. He never gets a 2 hour block to work on them. He learns to work in 10 minute blocks. Ask yourself, "What is the best use of my time right now?"
He does enjoy skiing and golf, and most importantly, spending time with grandchildren. The greatest delight is when your grandchildren treat your children in the way they treated you, and your children come to you for help. And you say, "I have prayed so much for this."
10. An investigator asked what sets this church apart from others, and how should he find out if it's true. Elder Bednar told him to read the Book of Mormon from beginning to end and ask on each page, "Could Joseph Smith or any man or woman have written this?" When you're finished, pray with the intent to act. Joseph Smith, when he asked which church to join, prayed with the intent to act. We should too. He also gave a powerful witness that this is the same church that Jesus Christ established, with prophets and apostles, in ancient times.
Last, he asked us what you noticed about the pattern of this meeting. What I really appreciated was that Elder Bednar made sure he understood each question, and after he answered it, he made sure that it was answered to the asker's satisfaction. He was genuinely interested in our questions and experiences. He also invoked the scriptures over and over. The words of Apostles shouldn't be separate from the scriptures because they are one gospel. I love how he quoted scriptures in order to give us insight into our own lives.
In closing, Elder Bednar said, "We can only teach what you're prepared to receive. Thank you for being prepared." Last, he bore his special witness, by the authority of the Holy Apostleship, that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live. The tomb is empty.
I said above that he didn't say anything earth-shattering and that may be true, but he talked about gospel doctrines, such as the Atonement, in such a way that I came to a new, more intimate understanding of them. Or at least, I began to. After such a meeting, the next step is to decide how to do things differently because of what you've learned. I always struggle with that part. That's why I decided to write this up now, while everything is fresh in my mind. I hope I'll refer back to this, and frequently remind myself to pray with the intent to act, to lean on the Atonement to make me strong in hard things.
The best part of it is that we still have Sunday morning to look forward to!
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