I went to a wonderful Stake Women's Conference today, title above. The first session I went to was "Emotional and Mental Health for Women", which was very good. Surprisingly (or maybe not), I scored pretty high on the "self-care" scale. But I'm pretty selfish, and I don't have children. Our Stake Relief Society President, who is one of my favorite people in the world did another great session, entitled "Eating Healthy on a Small Budget". We discussed fun methods for minimizing costs, healthy eating, and what to do with time limitations.
The third session I went to, "Simplifying our Lives and Relationships" was amazing. The speaker was a local person who works for LDS Family Services. He started out by talking about how we need to separate the doctrine of the church from common misconceptions that are ingrained the culture of its people. I didn't write down everything, just the thoughts that stood out the most to me.
First of all, I think Elder Uchtdorf's bumpersticker line, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you" couldn't have come at a better time. Our ability to stigmatize others or hesitate to welcome them because they have surface lifestyle issues only betrays our lack of understanding of the Atonement of Christ. We are all sinners, and we are equal in our need for the Atonement. If we think that trying to be perfect will somehow entitle us to more than anyone else, we are missing the point. As Elder Wirthlin said in 2005, "The church is not a place for perfect people."
The speaker talked a lot about focusing on Process rather than Outcome. He paralleled that with Agency vs. Control. The plan of salvation is one of agency, where Satan's plan was one of control. He wanted the "perfect" outcome, ignoring the process of becoming that is so essential to our salvation. Our individual outcomes may not be perfect, but God's process is perfect, and so is his love.
An applicable example he gave of this is in Home and Visiting Teaching. Loving and assessing needs are more important than sharing a lesson. If we share the lesson first, we are potentially alienating the person and focusing more on the outcome than the process. I really needed to hear that--it's always nice to hear a different take on something I struggle with. It inspires me to do better.
When it comes to other people, we can only focus on process. Missionaries don't change investigators' hearts, and we can't change our loved ones to make their or our lives better. It's in the realm of their agency. We should avoid setting outcome goals that depend on the agency of others.
He kept reiterating that expectations and perceptions should line up. Honestly, I don't remember precisely what he meant by that, but here are some notes:
Sources of expectations:
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
Ourselves (self)
Others (parents, spouse, children, friends, etc.)
Relational Perspective:
Faith - Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
Hope - Self
Charity - Others
Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk in October 2010 about our relationship with ourselves. He said that "Some people can't seem to get along with themselves."
Last of all, the speaker said: "Instead of talking to God, try being with God, on your knees."
This was one of the more inspiring talks I've been to in a long time. It's indescribably wonderful to feel the spirit so strong after feeling insensitive to it, in a general sense (excluding specific personal direction) for long spans of time.
The third session I went to, "Simplifying our Lives and Relationships" was amazing. The speaker was a local person who works for LDS Family Services. He started out by talking about how we need to separate the doctrine of the church from common misconceptions that are ingrained the culture of its people. I didn't write down everything, just the thoughts that stood out the most to me.
First of all, I think Elder Uchtdorf's bumpersticker line, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you" couldn't have come at a better time. Our ability to stigmatize others or hesitate to welcome them because they have surface lifestyle issues only betrays our lack of understanding of the Atonement of Christ. We are all sinners, and we are equal in our need for the Atonement. If we think that trying to be perfect will somehow entitle us to more than anyone else, we are missing the point. As Elder Wirthlin said in 2005, "The church is not a place for perfect people."
The speaker talked a lot about focusing on Process rather than Outcome. He paralleled that with Agency vs. Control. The plan of salvation is one of agency, where Satan's plan was one of control. He wanted the "perfect" outcome, ignoring the process of becoming that is so essential to our salvation. Our individual outcomes may not be perfect, but God's process is perfect, and so is his love.
An applicable example he gave of this is in Home and Visiting Teaching. Loving and assessing needs are more important than sharing a lesson. If we share the lesson first, we are potentially alienating the person and focusing more on the outcome than the process. I really needed to hear that--it's always nice to hear a different take on something I struggle with. It inspires me to do better.
When it comes to other people, we can only focus on process. Missionaries don't change investigators' hearts, and we can't change our loved ones to make their or our lives better. It's in the realm of their agency. We should avoid setting outcome goals that depend on the agency of others.
He kept reiterating that expectations and perceptions should line up. Honestly, I don't remember precisely what he meant by that, but here are some notes:
Sources of expectations:
Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
Ourselves (self)
Others (parents, spouse, children, friends, etc.)
Relational Perspective:
Faith - Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost
Hope - Self
Charity - Others
Elder Uchtdorf gave a talk in October 2010 about our relationship with ourselves. He said that "Some people can't seem to get along with themselves."
Last of all, the speaker said: "Instead of talking to God, try being with God, on your knees."
This was one of the more inspiring talks I've been to in a long time. It's indescribably wonderful to feel the spirit so strong after feeling insensitive to it, in a general sense (excluding specific personal direction) for long spans of time.
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